Now listening to Relapse by Blythe Baird
It’s happening again.
The cycles have started.
It looks different than before, but it doesn’t matter. A bicycle is a bicycle.
It probably shouldn’t be, but it is.
I can’t help but feel shameful about the fact that I have needed to enter eating disorder treatment again.
There’s a new treatment center, new guidelines, new therapists, new dieticians, new psychiatrists, new meal plans, and new eating disorder behaviors trying to be challenged.
They don’t all look different. They just present differently.
Again, either way, it’s a cycle. Either way, it’s an eating disorder.
I did not think I was getting sick again, but here I am.
Things are worse than I thought.
So much so I’m in a partial hospitalization program.
But it’s okay. I’m getting help.
Even if I don’t feel like I need it quite yet.